


Gather Your Darkness

by imusuallyobsessed



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Episode: s5e17 Kapiushon, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Torture, Yelling, post - 5x17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 18:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10418682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imusuallyobsessed/pseuds/imusuallyobsessed
Summary: What happened right after Oliver came into the bunker and said, "I'm shutting everything down." The bunker is quiet, Oliver's asleep, but Felicity and Digg can't just leave him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, no editing. Raw feelings I had at the end of 5x17. It kind of spiraled beyond my original scope, but that's just writing! I really hope you guys enjoy this. It's also what I'm hoping happens with Felicity's story arc. We've been getting hints of her dark side, but I think taking down Prometheus may be the thing that pushes her over the edge. And I'm so ready.

Gather Your Darkness

Oliver hadn’t said much since he came back.

To be fair, none of them had.

The past six days had been the most draining of Felicity’s life. The only time that came close was when she thought he was dead at the hand of Ra’s al Ghul. That had been different too, though. In this case – these six days – Felicity knew Oliver was at the hands of a man who wanted to utterly destroy him.

After Oliver’s announcement – _I’m shutting everything down_ – he crashed. Not immediately, but as soon as Digg had seen to his wounds. Felicity wanted desperately to go to him, to help him, heal him, but she didn’t. Just like she hadn’t run to him as soon as he came back after _six days_ of being missing. She couldn’t do that anymore. _They_ didn’t do that anymore.

Felicity stayed in the lair. She couldn’t leave. Digg was around too, trying to keep himself occupied. Oliver was sleeping in the small side room. They’d left the door open when Digg dropped his dead weight on the bed. Neither of them wanted to be far in case he needed them.

Alena kept calling. Her phone was going off about once every hour. Felicity didn’t want to think about her or Helix right now, though. She’d used Helix to try and find Oliver, but six days later they’d still been unsuccessful. Still, Felicity needed to pay up for the help. She didn’t want to think about what they’d want.

It occurred to her she was deploying one of Oliver’s old tactics – avoidance – but she’d become as much an expert at it as him, lately. She wasn’t thinking about Havenrock, their breakup, Billy, Helix… Right now, she was focused on Oliver. He was more important.

A low moan sounded from the other room. Felicity and Digg dashed over, both going for Oliver until Digg put an arm in front of her. When she paused, confused, Digg fixed her with a stern look and approached the archer alone.

Oliver’s eyes were closed, but he was writhing and twisting, crying out in pain and despair. Felicity gasped, her hand going to her mouth as tears burned her eyes. Her glasses – the spare pair, she still didn’t know where her usual ones were – started to fog up. Oliver was shirtless on the bed, covered in criss-crossing white bandages, and Felicity could see that he was bleeding through the gauze and bandages. They’d managed to get him to drink some of his magical island herbs before he completely passed out, but they’d barely had – she checked her phone – an hour to go through his system.

“Oliver,” Digg called. Not shouting, but his voice was strong and firm.

Oliver only groaned louder, twisting on to his side so he was facing away from them.

“Oliver,” Digg said again. “It’s Digg, man. Me and Felicity are here. Chase let you go. You’re back at the bunker. You’re safe.”

“I didn’t… Mean… Sorry -- ” Oliver’s half-delirious mutterings were cut off by another agonized scream. His hands flew up to his chest – to the covered burn where his Bratva tattoo used to be.

Digg moved just as quick, taking a chance by grabbing Oliver’s arms and pinning him to the mattress. Felicity moved a few steps closer, unable to help herself as a silenced sob ripped through her chest. Oliver hadn’t said anything while Digg was patching him up, but they all recognized burn marks by this point. The burn over his tattoo was precise and malicious. Felicity couldn’t know for sure, but she thought it might’ve been a blowtorch.

That thought caused her to sob again, but she forced it back. She didn’t have a right to cry, to sob. Oliver was suffering even in his sleep, and he needed her.

“Oliver,” Felicity called, trying to make her voice sound normal and not choked. Oliver was trying to fight off Digg, but he’d been starved and abused for six days. He was a formidable man, but under these circumstances he was no match for the ex-soldier.

“Oliver, it’s Felicity. We’re not leaving you. You’re safe Please, just try and wake up,” she called, clutching her arms to avoid reaching for him. Digg wouldn’t let her get any closer. As much as she wanted to comfort Oliver herself, she knew it wasn’t smart to get near him now. He’d never hurt her on purpose, but he was in the throes of a nightmare after having been tortured for six days. She could only imagine the horrors he would see.

Felicity talked for a few more moments, babbling anything that came into her head, and Oliver eventually went limp against the mattress and slipped back into deep sleep.

Digg sighed as he stepped back, rubbing his hand over his face as he stared at his sleeping friend.

“I’d say we should restrain him for his own safety, but I think we both know how that would go,” he murmured, keeping his voice low.

Felicity nodded, rushing closer to Oliver now that he was truly asleep. She wanted to touch him – smooth his wild hair, calm his tense shoulders, stroke his sweaty forehead – but she knew better. She’d learned a lot about his PTSD in Ivy Town when they started sleeping together every night. His biggest rule was that Felicity should never touch him during or immediately after an episode. It triggered his fight or flight and messed with his threat processing. It took one black eye and a week of a guilt-ridden Oliver to drive that message home. She wasn’t afraid of him – never afraid of him – but he had rules in place to make him feel safer and more in control. She could never begrudge him that.

“Oh my god… Digg…” Felicity said, taking in the damage written on Oliver’s body as another sob shook her.

“Shh,” Digg whispered, pulling Felicity into his arms and letting her cry into his shirt. “I know, I know. It’s horrible, but Oliver’s strong, Felicity. He survived, and he came back. It’ll take a while, but he’ll recover. He’ll heal.”

“But how?” Felicity gasped, trying to keep her voice down. Oliver lay only a few feet away, and he deserved all the rest he could get. “You heard what he said, Digg. He -- ”

“I did. But do you remember when you and Oliver came back from Ivy Town? If he’s serious, then… this team can and has survived without Oliver before. Our lives, our choices. This isn’t just Oliver’s team anymore. It belongs to all of us,” he said, running a comforting hand up and down Felicity’s back while she cried.

“It’s not just that, Digg. It’s… Oliver’s been through so much, but this time -- ”

“Hey,” Digg said, gripping Felicity’s forearms and putting enough distance between them so he could look into her eyes. “Oliver is strong. Whatever else happens, that’s always been true. He’s been through hell, again, but this time he has us. Right?”

Felicity nodded, sniffling and trying to gather herself so she stopped acting like a child. She was scared and agonized, but Digg had been through the same horrible six days as her and here he was comforting her.

“Are you ever going to let me finish a sentence?” she asked, trying to crack a smile.

Digg laughed – one sharp exclamation – and shook his head. “I just did, didn’t I?” he asked.

Felicity laughed a little – a small, watery thing – and they left Oliver to his rest again.

They took turns checking on him this time, though.

 

* * *

 

“You should leave.”

Felicity jumped, turning to look at Oliver who was still prone on the mattress. This time, though, his eyes were open.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Felicity said, instantly moving to his side. “Are you alright? I mean, obviously you’re not _alright_ , but on the scale of _I-just-spent-six-days-with-a-psycho_ , are you like a one or…”

Felicity didn’t know how to wrap up her mini-ramble, so she just let it fade as her eyes ran over all of Oliver’s injuries.

“You should leave,” he repeated, still staring at the ceiling.

Felicity furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “What do you mean? I’m not going anywhere. I was worried _sick_ for _six days_ and I… I’m not leaving you,” she said.

“I’m no good to be around. I poison every life I touch. You should go while you still can,” he said. Felicity was afraid of his tone. His voice was flat and expressionless, his beautiful blue eyes betraying nothing.

“What are you _talking_ about?” Felicity asked, sitting on the edge of the cot without taking her eyes off Oliver. He flinched at her proximity, but Felicity wouldn’t be cowed. He didn’t move away, which meant the flinch was probably a reflex. Felicity couldn’t blame him for being afraid of proximity after six days of torture. As much as she wanted to reach out, she kept her hands knotted in her lap.

“Adrian said -- ”

“Okay, stop right there,” she said, adopting Digg’s habit of interrupting. “Whatever Adrian said, he was doing it to hurt you. He was trying to twist everything that’s happened in your life into something terrible. You can’t believe anything he told you. He’s a total psychopath!”

“He was right,” Oliver said, still not looking at her. His voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

Felicity took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to control her anger. She wasn’t mad at Oliver – of course, not – she was mad at Adrian. No, no mad… _Enraged_. Whatever it took, whatever she had to do, she was going to bury Prometheus until he was so far underground he couldn’t even remember what the sun looked like.

Looking at Oliver again, taking in the damage of the past days, Felicity knew she would. Digg had said her superpower was empathy, but she doubted this is what he meant. Felicity saw every cut, every burn, every wound on Oliver’s body and mind… and felt it as if it happened to her. She felt the pain, bottomless and black, in the man laying before her. Felicity was going to keep that close to her heart, tuck that vulnerability close to keep it safe, and build walls of unbreakable stone and raging fire around it. She swore on everything that ever mattered to her – Adrian Chase was going to get exactly what he deserved. Even if they could get to him legally – maybe even if they could – Prometheus was going to have to answer to Felicity Smoak. Overwatch. Ghost Fox Goddess.

Maybe she’d become someone else. _Something_ else. But for Oliver? She would do anything.

“That is _not_ true,” Felicity said. She must not have done a good job of hiding her anger, because Oliver finally looked at her. His eyes were still mostly empty, but there was a flicker of concern.

“Our wedding may have been fake, but I meant _everything_ I said to Cupid. You… God, you woke me up! I was sleepwalking through life before you dropped in with that stupid laptop and changed everything. I was a scared little doormat until you reminded me who I really was! And Digg, you changed his life. He found out the truth about Andy. No, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but that’s not the point. He found Lyla again! They have JJ! Do you think either of those things would’ve been possible without you?” she asked, standing now and pacing by Oliver’s cot. He was propped up on his good arm, watching Felicity pace.

“Yes, bad things have happened. Terrible things. And they _sucked_. But you didn’t make those things happen! Whatever bad exists in the world now was already there before you came along. You’re just the only person willing to fight back. This city would be dead four times over without you!”

“But Adrian only became Prometheus because of me,” he murmured.

Felicity whirled around with a growl. “You may have made the circumstances possible, but Adrian – or Simon, whatever his name is – already had Prometheus inside of him before he gave it a name. Obviously, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree since his own mom didn’t care that he became a mass murderer! Instead of letting the bad circumstances make him into something better, _someone_ better, he chose to become a villain. That was _his choice_ , Oliver. Not yours,” she said.

“But -- ”

“No,” Felicity snapped, whirling back around to face him with her arms crossed. “I mean, you’re entitled to your opinion but… You can’t listen to Adrian Chase. He’s evil, and he’s wrong. And you can disband this team if you want, but… I’m not going to stop. This fight is bigger than you. This city still needs saving, and if you won’t do it then _I will_.”

“Felicity -- ”

Felicity turned around and marched out of the room before Oliver could say anything else. She passed Digg a few feet away from the door and said, “He’s awake,” without stopping. She went straight to her desk and sat down. Without pausing, she put her hands on the keyboard and let them fly. Oliver may be done, but she wasn’t. Adrian Chase had fucked with the _wrong_ team. And Felicity wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? Leave me a comment and kudo if you enjoyed it (or want to talk!) and then head over to my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/imusuallyobsessed) for more.


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